The best sex may just be the quietest, writes Rowan Pelling

I’ve crot memek long been haunted by porn the memek memory bokep of a stay in Paris’s Latin Quarter where I bokeh crot was kept awake all night crot by a woman in a nearby room screeching so loudly that I bokep wondered if I should offer to perform an exorcism.

memek When I mentioned the ‘miaulement’ (the delectable French word for bokeh caterwauling) to memek the porn receptionist the next morning, porn she rolled her eyes and bokeh declared the woman an ‘actrice’, bokep bokeh or crot sex worker.

Now, porn according to this new study from the ever-liberal Swedes, bokep memek it all bokep makes scientific sense. It confirms what most women know and porn all men dread – the porn louder the cry of porn ecstasy, bokep the greater the chance the orgasm is crot being bokeh faked. In other words, memek you can’t measure passion in terms of decibels: porn there’s sex as performance art, bokep and porn sex as genuine intimacy. And bokep when a woman is genuinely aroused, memek trusts her partner and porn is not fearing for memek a fragile male ego, crot bokep she’s far more likely to bokeh gently sigh and bokeh moan memek than shriek like the rabid super-vixen in my Parisian hotel.

In porn my days editing The Erotic Review magazine, bokep bokeh female contributors regularly confessed to faking orgasms. It was generally on an occasional basis, memek they’d explain, bokeh so they porn bokep could make their partner feel happy, bokep while conserving their energy porn for memek other tasks in hand. This was the conclusion of another study by two bokep researchers from the University of Central Lancashire. They declared that erotic decibels were all about bokeh manners and bokeh ‘manipulation’, memek and porn that women bokep were prone to what they described as bokeh ‘copulatory vocalisation’ in order to encourage their partners over the finishing line, memek crot so memek to speak.

A new study confirms the louder the cry of ecstasy, memek the greater the chance memek the orgasm is being faked (Stock Image

It was like saying: porn ‘I’m enjoying this, porn but can you memek get a bloomin’ bokep move on.’ Sound familiar, bokeh ladies?

The only other reason to screech like a demented hyena bokeh is if your sex education comes crot from porn, bokep where loud memek always memek equals better.

As a woman from Sunderland memek said bokeh in memek 2014 after neighbours complained that her sexual yowling drowned out their TVs: memek ‘As far bokep as I’m porn concerned, bokeh that’s what porn you should be doing.’

Well, crot only if bokeh you want to attract a certain kind of memek attention.

In their book, crot Sex At Dawn, crot Christopher Ryan and crot Cacilda Jetha concluded the most likely reason bokeh women were noisy during bokep sex – based on observation of memek our nearest primate cousins – was to alert nearby males porn that they were fertile and bokeh bokep keen to copulate.

If you’re a sex crot worker, crot I can understand porn the need to advertise. bokep But if you’re not, porn then men should take heed: crot the best sex may just bokeh be the quietest.

Paris